OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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