Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
