apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Houston, we have a squirter
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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