I will die if light touches me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
