Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
