ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
