I think my vagina is haunted
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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