That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
