sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
