is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
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When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
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Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut