That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES