Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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