hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize