Duck Duck Cougar?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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