She said her name was "party"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize