haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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