So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
