I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
this hospital has no fireball
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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