just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
