marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
