By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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