My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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