So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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