this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
