I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
