I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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