No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
