How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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