Christians are straight up FREAKS
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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