great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
