used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
