We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize