So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
