Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
