spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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