Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
