i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
