if i can run in heels then i can drive
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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