I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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