Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
