Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize