we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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