I'm going to jail i love you
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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