he puts the penis in happiness.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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