i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
