woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
