they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
