wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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