your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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