Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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