i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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