just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
