Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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