yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
