dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's blow job season.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
