what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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