my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
