Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize