If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
