garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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