i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
