I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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