I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
