I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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