I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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