Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
