Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I hate all girls vehemently.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
