i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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