I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
North Korea, Best Korea!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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