After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
