I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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